King of the Castle

There are few countries in the world that can boast having as many castles as the Czech Republic - be they 14th century Gothic ruins, Renaissance chateaux or Baroque Palaces - something I could not help but consider on a recent return to my native Canada, which is proud to boast only one: Casa Loma.

Built on a quiet promontory overlooking Toronto, the faux-medieval castle was begun in 1911 by Sir Henry Mill Pellatt, a prominent local financier. I have to hand it to Sir Henry - he had an amazing imagination and dedication too: the whole castle cost him three million at a time when we know three million was worth a whole lot more. All to realise his dream.

Sir Henry devised a castle with exquisitely carved panelling and magnificent rooms, including a sunlit Conservatory for his flowers, and many secret passageways.

Tragically, Sir Henry only lived in his castle for ten years, before going bankrupt. Which kind of led me to expect that Casa Loma would now be treated with a measure of stiff piety. At least, that's how it would be done at at least some of the castles here. Visitors, at most, might share a moment in which they would sort of sigh, or shrug, or bow their heads and say 'Oh, well' before quietly shuffling out.

Here, it's all too common for guides to recite long histories whether you want them to or not, regardless of whether you know what came first, the Renaissance or the egg. But, I must admit after twelve years in the Czech Republic, I have at last accepted - no - I have come to revel in endlessly spiralling, preferably monotone or at least slightly haughty descriptions of one kingly dynasty to the next, in all their fine detail.

But, I know that's not for everyone.

At Casa Loma your guide is, at most, a little electronic headset. It's a good idea, except I only recognised the occasional muffled 'Sir Henry did this or that' each time before it was drowned out by a million cries of 'Mommy!' and 'Ow!' and 'He hit me!' from many of the children racing through the castle halls. Interestingly the only mother I saw who shushed her child, by sheer coincidence, was Czech, and all he did was hit another kid, roll around screaming on the ground, and tear off into a secret passageway where they're searching for him yet.