Lost in the menu
One of the small pleasures of living in the Czech Republic as a "foreigner" is noticing well-intended but ultimately hilarious attempts at word-for-word translation from Czech into English. It doesn't happen nearly as much as it used to, still, some funny mistakes do get through in small ways in day-to-day affairs and it can be quite amusing, for example, to scan your average pub menu for hidden "English" gems.
While toast is one thing "Spanish bird" is another altogether: a nonsensical and unfortunate translation you'll find on the rare menu. To clarify: Spanish bird - spanelsky ptacek in Czech - has nothing to do with fowl - and what it has to do with Spain is even more of a mystery! The dish is in fact beef stuffed with a pickle, sausage, egg and mustard, all rolled into one and covered with gravy. Unlike the stinky toasts it's delicious and you'll only be disappointed if you were really expecting something that once flew: a little quail or squab to pick your teeth with. That's the best part about spanelsky ptacek: there aren't any bones, and there certainly aren't any wings.
Literal translations by non-native speakers from Czech into English are of course always a risk, but inevitably opportunity for mistakes exists both ways. As a Canadian I once caused a faux-pas a long time ago by asking my Czech hosts if there were any preservatives in the food - I don't know why I said that and wished I hadn't at the time - apparently such things mattered to me then, but "preservatives" in Czech, as in French, mean "condoms". By asking that silly question I had implied that the goulash was simply too rubbery to chew, making clear that my hosts didn't know how to cook to save their lives. Forks hung halfway mid-air with no one really sure whether to laugh, put the forks down, continue to eat, or fling their plates in my general direction. An unfortunate mistake that was luckily soon explained, though no one really looked at their food the same way again. Condoms in the food, what was I thinking? Next time I'll play it safe - and go straight for the "stinked" toasts.
